Before Christmas I was really struggling not to think about a particular situation. I was trying to ‘take thoughts captive’ but kept finding myself mid-train of thought, worrying about it. I felt quite overwhelmed and hopeless. There was a sense of condemnation that I couldn’t take the thoughts captive, even using tools I’d used before. I knew the truth, but it felt like the worries would never go. It was taking my attention and exhausting me.
I went up for prayer on a Sunday, and one thing someone said to me gave me hope – that I would really know what ‘taking thoughts captive’ means in a new way.
The thoughts didn’t stop. But one day I was walking to school to pick up the kids and God told me “I completely approve of you”. I instantly felt lighter, and felt my face fill with a smile. The thoughts were still there but it was like they had been put in their place – they weren’t at the top of my mind, they were at the bottom of the pile because something far more important was in their place – an awareness of God’s presence and his approval. It meant when I started worrying again, I could choose to put those thoughts in their place. The people I was with or the things I was doing had my attention again.